Bending Grammar to Your Will

Every language has a set of grammatical rules that it follows. For example, in English, a simple sentence like

Jim threw the ball

can be broken into its components

subject - verb - direct object

That is the basic form of English sentences, though obviously you can add things like adjective phrases and indirect objects, and you can change the tense of the verb to present or future. We're not here for a grammar lesson, however. Today we're going to talk about the darker side of English grammar, and how to conquer it and make it your slave.

I'm sure you've heard the rule, "Never end a sentence with a preposition." Well, I'm here today to tell you that rule is bullshit. That's what we call a "prescriptive" rule of grammar - it tells us how a sentence should be composed. The subject-verb-object rule mentioned above is called a "descriptive" rule, meaning it just explains how sentences actually are composed. What's the difference? English-speakers were creating SVO sentences before the rule; the rule is merely an observation. Think about how awkward the following sentences are

Jim the ball throwing.
The ball threw Jim.

The first is out because of the word order, and the second is weird because an inanimate object acted on a person. These are considered violations of the rule because they don't actually make sense if you try and interpret them as they are - they require work to put them right. On the other hand, look what happens when you mess with prepositions

Nashville is the city from which Nancy came.
Nashville is the city Nancy came from.

No meaning is lost between those two sentences, and in fact it takes more effort to misread the second one, which violates the "rule," than it does to read it and comprehend it. I bring this up to make one major point: Go with clarity. If you think your sentence actually makes sense and you think it sounds good, don't worry about people who say you're violating a rule.

The other idea I want to convey boils down to Sometimes don't go with clarity. You have to be more careful with this because, if it is misused, you end up destroying the story. But think - what kinds of situations exist in which even rules like Subject-Verb-Object can be violated? One that comes to mind involves characters whose primary languages are fundamentally different from English, like Japanse, which is basically Subject-Object-Verb. If those characters haven't had much experience speaking English, they may occasionally put their words in the wrong order. Another example is small children - they love playing with language and seeing what kinds of things they can put together. Excited people sometimes say weird stuff, as do people who are focusing on too many things at once. Think about what kinds of grammatical idiosyncrasies your characters have and work with them when it is appropriate.

Remember, grammar serves you, not the other way around. If rules (descriptive or otherwise) interfere with the story you want to write, throw them away. You're a writer. You're allowed to do that. Be clear. If you need a character to say something unclear, just make sure you have solid reasons for it.

Challenge: Take three characters and put them in a plausible situation (airport, bus, etc). For your characters and the narrator, pick unique styles of speech. Some examples include American South, New England, Urban, Broken, Stuttering, and Whatever You Think "Normal" Is. See what happens.

Choosing the Right Words

In a work of fiction, every word matters. I mean this in a very literal sense - every single noun, verb, adjective, and preposition makes a difference in the way the story is understood. "Hate" and "loathe" may be considered synonyms, but when only one of those words carries the idea of "disgust" with it, it is important that you choose the one that best fits your situation.

"Oh come on, Stan," you say, "the reader doesn't care! You're just being nitpicky." Both of those statements may well be true, but that doesn't excuse the writer from practicing precision. Imagine a violinist in an orchestra saying, "Well, I'm not in tune, but no one will notice." There is no way that would fly - even tone deaf people would consider that attitude highly unprofessional because it aims for something less than perfection. The same is true for writers. If you're shooting for "good enough," you aren't giving your work the proper attention and ultimately failing your readers.

Okay, so we've got the gloomy stuff out of the way...now what? Well, the first step, as with everything else, is "Write the damn story." Step three is going to be "Repeat step two." Step two is going to be tedious.

Start reading your work, one sentence at a time. Look at each sentence one word at a time and ask yourself two questions: 1) Is this word necessary? and 2) Is this the right word?

For the first question, you're looking at word economy. Even if you prefer a more verbose style, you still need to consider whether you need the words you choose. Take a look at the following paragraph:

The house was empty when William returned home. "Damn, where is everyone?" he muttered irritatedly to himself. He dropped the family's mail in a pile on the counter. They can sort their own mail, he thought to himself. He kicked off his shoes into the closet, then went in his room and collapsed on his bed.

That gets the job done, sure, but it needs to be thinned out. We can get rid of "home" in the first sentence because the verb "returned" implies that he lives in "the house." In the second sentence, chop "irritatedly" because William says "damn" and mutters, axe "to himself" because, well, there is no one around for him to mutter to. The third sentence can do without "family's" because a family is implied by the next sentence; "in a pile" because, again, the rest of the sentence implies what we're cutting. Italics are typically used to represent thoughts, so that can stand alone (and again, "to himself" can go because he really can't think to someone else). Finally, the last sentence can lose "off" and "in his room"; the former becomes unnecessary and the latter is implied. The result:

The house was empty when William returned. "Damn, where is everyone?" he muttered. He dropped the mail on the counter. They can sort their own mail. He kicked his shoes into the closed, then went and collapsed on his bed.

Much better! I think you get the idea, so let's move on to choosing the right words. This time, I will present you with two slightly different passages:

Allison was about to switch off her lane when yet another customer began unloading merchandise on the conveyor belt. "Find everything you were looking for?" she asked, running the items over the scanner and placing them in a bag.
The man mumbled an affirmation, watching the prices blink on the display. "Hang on, those shirts are on sale. Get it right."

And:

Allison was about to switch off her lane when yet another asshole started unloading merch on the belt. "Find everything?" she started scanning and bagging.
The man grunted, eyeing the prices on the display. "Hey, those shirts are on sale. Get it right, bitch."

The same action occurs in each passage, but they have distinctly different feels to them. This is the sort of thing a writer needs to pay attention to. Don't shrug anything off as "close enough," or you will reach a point where the story doesn't come across the way it was intended.

Challenge: Write a few sentences, then grab a thesaurus (or visit thesaurus.com) and start playing with synonyms to see how they change what you've written.

Suffering Through Revision

First off, I'd like to apologize for being so late with this week's update. I blame assorted network and homework problems for this. Now, onward to this week's topic!

Revision, to many, is the least appealing aspect of creative writing. After creating characters, building an environment and breathing life into the scenario, the idea of going through and making changes seems too much like work. The whole point of writing is to have fun, isn't it?

No. The lazy person writes for fun. The writer writes because it is a fundamental part of who he or she is. For the writer, revision is something worth suffering through because it serves the end goal, which is to produce excellent - not good, excellent - writing.

Admittedly, my own revision ethic is weak, but I think I know a few things that are worth sharing at this point.

The most important thing is to let the work sit for a while after it is finished. How long depends on the length of the story - a short story may only need a week or two, where a longer body could require a few months. In the meantime, it's a good idea move on to other projects. The idea is to get your mind off your finished work so when you go back to it, you will see it with fresh eyes. What, then, should you be looking at?

Your Use of Words - I don't mean whether or not you have "proper" grammar. Have you chosen the right words for the situation? Think about the differences between words like "anger" and "rage." The basic meaning is the same, but they tend to have different connotations. Also, consider your characters' dialogue. Do the words they use reflect their personality, or does everyone say "darn it!" because you're afraid to make some of them say "shit"?

Scene and Summary - Do you spend too much time detailing your characters actions, or do you have a tendency to blast through parts of the story that could use more attention? Ask yourself, "Does this add to the story?" If you are questioning details, make sure they are relevant. No one wants to sit through a long description of a room and a lenghthy conversation if it doesn't pertain to the story. If you're looking at a summary, make sure you don't gloss over events that will develop the overall story. For example, you might tell the reader that your main guy "worked for the phone company for twenty years, only taking five sick days in that time." While that may be enough to show that the character is a hard worker, it would develop him even further to explain the circumstances around those sick days (were they consecutive? was he the one who was sick, or was it someone else? did he do something impulsive that he normally wouldn't do?).

Scenery and Symbolism - Look for objects that appear in your story and think of ways to make them somewhat consistent throughout the story. Suppose the protagonist goes to visit her mother several times in the course of the story. If the first scene includes, say, a photo album on the end table, make sure that photo album is present in subsequent visits, or else mention its absence. Show the page it is open to (if it is open). Work with these details to enhance what is going on with your story, just don't be too heavy-handed with it - keep it subtle.

Consistency - This is key. Get a notebook or new text file and take notes on what your characters say and do and what history you reveal and keep an eye on any changes that occur as the story progresses. The longer the work work is, the more likely you are to screw up your continuity - it happens. You come up with better ideas as you go, and they weasel their way in without your knowledge. That's just how it goes. Your job is to go back and fix those problems.

Revision is brutal, but you don't have to go it alone: Ask other people to read your drafts and offer their feedback. Outside input can be quite valuable in determining the story's weak points. That's not to say you should just change everything your readers don't like, you just need to honestly consider the opinions of others because they might see something that you overlooked.

So, let's recap. Revision is suffering but necessary. Don't worry too much about grammar until you've fixed problems with word choice, scene and summary, setting and symbolism, and consistency. Listen to others. The last, and probably most painful thing you'll hear today, is the last step in the revision process: rewrite and repeat. That's right, there's a good chance that you may need to start with a blank page and write the story again with the vast knowledge you gained in the revision process. Then revise it again. It may require more rewrites, but remember, it's okay to cry.

Challenge: Write a short story (keep it under five pages for this exercise). Let it sit for a day, then revise it, focusing on one area we discussed today. Wait another day, then look at a different area. Repeat until you are satisfied.